Where is my happiness?

How can I fall in love with someone who is already in his mid 30s and yet not ready to have his own family. I should rephrase this: " not keen to have a family of his own".
I don't wanna to be lead on in this relationship anymore.If this issue never get resolve,I am not mentally to think about settling down with him.
I tested him that will he have any issue having me to further studies? He said that's fine. How can it be fine when he said we can still get married after 3- 4 years or so?
My eggs are not probably in a good shape to get fertilised by then.
I've always feel that if a person never feel like having a kid, then chances are that person will never get a kid in regardless. I believe kid's issue can be quite ticky in terms of compromising.

What's the point to be married and remain childless? I still feel that I'll be all by myself when I get old and crippled. Might as well just stay single for now.

I was willing to give up my Aust PR and stay with him if we ever have plans to get settle down within these 2 years. However, the future seems bleak.........

I've come to my acceptance that I have to remain single for the rest of life as He wants me to.

There's a thing called Love

Moving on into my 8-month relationship with Mr K. Everything seems fine until we chatted about our future. We are already in our mid 30s. OK close enough to get to that range. He verberlized that he wants to date me a bit longer before deciding on the proposal. I must clarify at this point that I'm not asking for any propose marriage but really, we need to synchronise our thoughts on what we want in our future. And this doesn't mean it require just a day to plan. Rather, both parties need to be honest and upfront about their exchanged views.
At this stage, I felt our focus on relationship is very different.
The future of having a marriage life, housing and kids seem to be almost an impossible with him. I'm not sure if I can live with that.
I've been constantly try and psycho myself that "marriage is not for everyone and if He (as the creator) has planned my life to be single and unmarried".

He said if I don't mind paying 35% and him paying 65% on the wedding/housing cost.

I've always believe it takes a real man would know how to take care of everything for his beloved.

Big plans

The plan is to leave out of Singapore in another 1-2 years time.

I recalled once there was a newspaper article stating that Singapore is leaking talent as reported by SM Lee (?) Not that I don't love my own country, I guess I've seen better working conditions, better appreciation from patients and better pay rates in another place. One of the main reasons which I chose to return back in the first place was family and friends. Read: Not working enviroment.

Let me give you another example. Whenever I faced a difficult case, I can approach the Dr for a proper discussion. Over here, high flyer Drs always think their assessment/judgement is right.My views are only just secondary.  And of course, there will always be 1 or 2 nice and humble ones around but rare.

Hospitals seem to be focusing more on 'prompt service & affordable (another alternative to 'cheap') healthcare. Is managing a hospital much similar to a 5 star hotel? Is it really necessary? Why are we doing so much and yet trying to keep healthcare costs at a reduced level?
Ironically, isn't this accomdating to the public's concept on ''ai pee ai qi'' (in hokkien, want cheap and fast)

On the lighter note, I've been dating with Mr POW for the last couple of months.
For the sake of being together, I may not be able to return to my favorite place anymore...
It is a hard decision. There is still some time left though.

The reason

I've stopped blogging for awhile because there has been so many things happening in my life.

To summarize, here's the list of my 'happenings' after my last entry.

- Went back to Perth for a few months and work.
- Started work at a new place
- Travelled to Zurich/Australia
- More talks to give
- Dating ( did someone mention something about SG boys? -_-)
- Run, swim, run , swim
- Meeting more new friends
- Started doing E dance
- Reading His words

I do miss my life in Perth......

Watch this space

Because I'm back!