Feeling lost

I'm having one of those negative feelings on our relationship again. Why some guys can claim that they've found the love of their lives and yet, some are always feeling so lost.
I'm attending this Catholic class. On one hand, I do love God. On the other, I feel as though I'm tight down and yet I can't tell he's the right one for me or not.
Why can't I have a decent normal family life on my own?
Why must I wait for something which seems like forever?
Why can't he have a better foresight towards future?

;(

Where is my happiness?

How can I fall in love with someone who is already in his mid 30s and yet not ready to have his own family. I should rephrase this: " not keen to have a family of his own".
I don't wanna to be lead on in this relationship anymore.If this issue never get resolve,I am not mentally to think about settling down with him.
I tested him that will he have any issue having me to further studies? He said that's fine. How can it be fine when he said we can still get married after 3- 4 years or so?
My eggs are not probably in a good shape to get fertilised by then.
I've always feel that if a person never feel like having a kid, then chances are that person will never get a kid in regardless. I believe kid's issue can be quite ticky in terms of compromising.

What's the point to be married and remain childless? I still feel that I'll be all by myself when I get old and crippled. Might as well just stay single for now.

I was willing to give up my Aust PR and stay with him if we ever have plans to get settle down within these 2 years. However, the future seems bleak.........

I've come to my acceptance that I have to remain single for the rest of life as He wants me to.

There's a thing called Love

Moving on into my 8-month relationship with Mr K. Everything seems fine until we chatted about our future. We are already in our mid 30s. OK close enough to get to that range. He verberlized that he wants to date me a bit longer before deciding on the proposal. I must clarify at this point that I'm not asking for any propose marriage but really, we need to synchronise our thoughts on what we want in our future. And this doesn't mean it require just a day to plan. Rather, both parties need to be honest and upfront about their exchanged views.
At this stage, I felt our focus on relationship is very different.
The future of having a marriage life, housing and kids seem to be almost an impossible with him. I'm not sure if I can live with that.
I've been constantly try and psycho myself that "marriage is not for everyone and if He (as the creator) has planned my life to be single and unmarried".

He said if I don't mind paying 35% and him paying 65% on the wedding/housing cost.

I've always believe it takes a real man would know how to take care of everything for his beloved.

Big plans

The plan is to leave out of Singapore in another 1-2 years time.

I recalled once there was a newspaper article stating that Singapore is leaking talent as reported by SM Lee (?) Not that I don't love my own country, I guess I've seen better working conditions, better appreciation from patients and better pay rates in another place. One of the main reasons which I chose to return back in the first place was family and friends. Read: Not working enviroment.

Let me give you another example. Whenever I faced a difficult case, I can approach the Dr for a proper discussion. Over here, high flyer Drs always think their assessment/judgement is right.My views are only just secondary.  And of course, there will always be 1 or 2 nice and humble ones around but rare.

Hospitals seem to be focusing more on 'prompt service & affordable (another alternative to 'cheap') healthcare. Is managing a hospital much similar to a 5 star hotel? Is it really necessary? Why are we doing so much and yet trying to keep healthcare costs at a reduced level?
Ironically, isn't this accomdating to the public's concept on ''ai pee ai qi'' (in hokkien, want cheap and fast)

On the lighter note, I've been dating with Mr POW for the last couple of months.
For the sake of being together, I may not be able to return to my favorite place anymore...
It is a hard decision. There is still some time left though.

The reason

I've stopped blogging for awhile because there has been so many things happening in my life.

To summarize, here's the list of my 'happenings' after my last entry.

- Went back to Perth for a few months and work.
- Started work at a new place
- Travelled to Zurich/Australia
- More talks to give
- Dating ( did someone mention something about SG boys? -_-)
- Run, swim, run , swim
- Meeting more new friends
- Started doing E dance
- Reading His words

I do miss my life in Perth......

Watch this space

Because I'm back!

Public speaking

I think I've developed a new phobia called 'publicphobicspeaking"

I realised that I'm not able to gather my thoughts well enough and formed into nice flowing sentences. As much as I enjoyed talking to my clients, I never like the idea of speaking in front of whole audience.

*sigh* I didn't really screw up. In fact, I was thrown with more questions than any other speakers!

Glad this is all over now.

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I've managed to completed my very first triathlon 2 weeks ago! This is probably the best race I've ever enjoyed and at the same time experiencing the whole 'muddy' business. I was still tossing and turning in my bed at 7 yish in the morning. Since it was raining cats and dogs at that time, I was just thinking about giving up attending the race. As I was trying to get a cab with my bike to East coast, lots of cabs just refused to stop for me ok? knn......

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I was making plans to leave for Australia next year. Now the current aussie currency is so shitty.#%*()#$%

What's the news

I've not been blogging as much as I would like. Unlike all those times in Aust, my updates were fairly done on a regular basis.
For the past few months, I've had a couple of visitors from Perth and Lausanne (Switzerland).
On the other hand, I'm training for my very first triathlon coming up in Nov. Weekends are mostly spend on biking, swimming or running. My last race with New Balance was kinda challenging coz it's more of a trail run. That involved running on different terrains such as the beach, mud and road.
I'm quite satisfied with my results for being the top 7o out of nearly 800 participants. Woohoo!!
Most of my colleagues felt that my future Mr Right doesn't mean he needs to wear checkered (ooo my favourite dressing for guys ;p) shirt . He needs to know how to race with me too!

I'm procratinating on doing up my slides for the presentation *whine whine whine*.
Instead of having 2 speakers before me, I have to wait for 3 speakers to get done before my turn to present the talk. I hope the target audience won't be suffering too much with their heavy eyelids ;p

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Wanna complain!!

Why there are some motorists think that riding on park connectors is prefectly ok? Maybe the LTA can encourage the public to send in pics of those illegal motor riders and so a fine could be issued to their homes. Obviously these motorists haven't got a slightest clue that they can put the public in grave danger.

There seems to be an increased number of drivers who have forgotten to on their headlights while driving at night. Very very bad!

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Maternal instinct? Tick tock?

One of my regular clients will come in monthly for her health check. This grandson of hers is an absolute darling. Never failed to give me a 'squeaky 'kiss on my cheek towards the end of consult. I feel soooo soo loved!!! Then again, he's such a hyperactive child which I don't think I can handle it for too long. Hurhur!

GP forum

I got arrowed for a talk............. *cold feet*

First Tri

Hope I don't stuff up my very first sprint Triathlon event in Nov ......

Showers of gifts

The company has a policy whereby if any staff receives any gifts or special items, they would need to put up a declaration form and submit to their respective bosses. Upon CEO's approval, you may only accept the item with a small token out of your own pocket.

The most 'exotic' item I've ever received was a furry lion pencil case. My client is such a darling. He thought since he hasn't got any grandchildren, my 'son' will be able to make full use of the pencil case when he goes to school.

Mr J is my regular client. To be honest, I hope he doesn't find me too long winded each time when he comes into the practice. ;p Even though he was under some medical social assistance, I was quite taken by surprise that he brought 2 boxes of noodles for me (and my assistant).

Another one sat on a wheelchair giving out the mooncakes to me from her hands.

Feeling so blessed ! xx

You look so young!

I like the fact that most of my clients think I look more like at the age of 25.

There's another said that if I were to be walking down the road, he thought I would be working in some cosmetic department. hohoho.

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Cocktail shaker: I wanna purchase that!

When I was at the uni, I took up a bar course from a recreation club in University of Western Australia. There was a time that I wish I had the time to work as a barmaid at a pub or something. So that my skills won't be washed down the drain.
Or rather, I don't really mind being a 'coyote ugly' too ;p

Housemaid horror

I was at Parkway earlier since there was an Isetan sale going. The place was thronged with uncles, prams, childrens and more aunties than ever. Buay ta han. Those middle aged ladies are the worst lot of shoppers. They scrambled for the correct size on the clothings or chucked the unwanted stuffs right in front of the pile that you're looking at.



When I was at Watson's looking at some shower gels, I overheard *again* this middle aged ladies (50s and above that's somewhat I considered middle aged, ho ho ho ) was scolding her maid in front of the cosmetic department. How embrassing is that! I can see the maid was looking rather upset with face looking down. Why can't that auntie bring her to one side and talk to her instead? She is not A kid. Afterall, even if she could have really done something wrong but there could be better way of solving the issue besides raising her voice in front of the crowd?



That's the thing about living in Singapore. You don't have (huma) rights. People can go all the way and discriminate your looks, your culture, your race and everything. So if someone says your mole is ugly in front of you, then that's just too bad. Live with it or do something about it (eg, mole curettage??)

Recently, one of my girlfriends decided to ask her maid to pack her bag and leave for good. The reason was that she has been using phone to call back to her own country during wee hours in the morning. Rather than getting pissed over it, my gf would rather send her away for good. Afterall, baby's safety is her first priority in regardless of what happened.

Skinny jeans

Can't believe my bro is wearing that......

Back from reality

I had a wonderful vocation in Down under. It was great catching up with some friends. It was also my pleasure to meet Magic ( Rach's darling) and 3 of us had a nice cold chilly morning walk together. I must admit I've been pretty slow on my blog. Not much of interesting stuffs to write anyway.


Is this a calling?

*After the consult*
Patient X: " God bless you dear"


*During the consult*
Patient Y:" Why you never go to my son's church? you only been once? that's not enough. Must go there n meet all the young people.?"

-_-


Mr Buaya

He's back! Mr B asked me out for dinner again. Friends have said that if I'm not interested in him , I shouldn't have gone out with him at all.
It's just a dinner. That's how I looked at it.

Get set, ready and GO!

One of my clients was quite funny. He actually put on his timer and see how long his consult was with this practitioner.

Time taken for the consult was 1.5mins
Waiting time to be seen: 2 hours

He went like this:" WAH liew eh, my condition can be viewed in such a short timing lor."

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I'm still tired from all the fun and activities I had since the last weekend.

Inflation nightmare?

With the uprising inflation costs, it is no surprise that most citizens certainly feel the pinch on their pockets. Sadly, I would say the most affected group of people belongs to the low income families.
And Kirsten ,who will be getting married in a few years time, has paid a downpayment on a HDB flat together with her partner. In fact,she was pretty conscious on how she spent her money since both have made plans on the wedding.

Trust me, every cent do count for this lady.
For instance, there was once she refused to get her sandwich toasted at Subway as she thought it may cost her extra 20cents to do so.

From my experience, I've been to a cafe where they charge 50cents for a glass of water. Nope, it's not from bottled water . Hidden costs can be just everywhere. Another of my gf, Judy was rather funny. She said that the only place she has asked for 'extras' without being charged is Burger King! Apparently, if you ask for a 'stack 'of lettuce on your burger, they don't cost you extra.
Then again, I'm not really sure how true with such statement can be.

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I had my first lesson of calligraphy class last Friday!

Dealing with difficult parents

My girlfriend ( bish! -you know who you are) thinks that asian parents are the worst kind which you ever can have. Perhaps, it's the culture or family values which has been passed down from generations to the modern living world that doesn't seem to be so applicable anymore.

I'm not here to 'disgrace' my parents. In fact, I've learnt to take note of dos and don'ts or mistakes which my parents have made along the way. And hopefully, I don't see myself repeating the stuffs on my children in near future.

Ever since I've moved back home, I find my parents tend to get a lot more agitated over small stuffs. Both of them seems to be less controlled with their temper and more demanding. I do worry for their health. Then again, who I am to be their health 'controller'. The funny thing is they will prefer take on the advice from a 3rd party than listening to me on what I have to say.
I was really annoyed when someone told my dad to eat some natural herbs so he can have regular bowels. Not surprisingly, he took on the advice faithfully without missing a single dose.

My coping strategy is to either walk away or totally ignore them if they start to get loud on me. Sometimes, I do reflect on why they are saying such things or they don't realise that their brains have snapped....

I guess I can never understand till I become a parent myself.

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KNN, the calligraphy class has been cancelled due to poor intake.(#%*(#

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Little Miss Runner

For the past weekends, life hasn't been quite the same.Taking part in different racing events had took up most of my time. My colleagues have been bugging me to take them along for training On the contrary, they were put off by the fact that since I'm such a 'fast' runner ( at least to them , I am a fast runner), I'll not have much patience to guide them along. Whatever hokay. Is there anything wrong with running alone? Some of my mates seriously think there is a problem with me.

By the way, I'll be taking up chinese calligraphy soon. Hope the slow movement of the chinese strokes will help to build up the level of patience in me. *heh heh* Come on, I don't wanna stick to the rule that I only know toes and legs throughout my whole life. How boring is that.

Back to running, I would like to acheive better for my half marathon by the end of this year.
My current (shitty) timing for 21 KM is 2hr 50mins.

I did a 10km cross country run at 62mins and another run by Pearl Izumni 12.4km at 1hr 11mins.

My next target timing for the 21km: 2hr 30mins or under

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I told my brother that I want him to get me a HDB flat so I can live throughout my spinisterhood.

At least he is getting through the uni with my hard earned bling bling. *sob*

Who's getting hook up

My long time gf, J, finally got herself a boyfriend whom she got to know in a dancing class. No doubt the guy was in his late 20s, she doesn't mind his early signs of receding hairline. More importantly, she was overwhelmed by the fact that he was a Christian. That was like scoring 100 brownie points on her eligibility checklist on a dude.

Back in Perth, A is happily attached to his Mr Mechanic. I guess that probably explains why is less frequent online.

JL found her happiness via Facebook- everything went so perfect that to the last day of her trip (where she met him), they decided to get hook up.

Chawang , the elephant from the Zoo, has got himself a 'playmate' now.

I need a 'playmate' too!

The fact is that I've seen more eligible ladies more than men. The problems with the Mr Eilgibles are not really quite eligible are because:

1) They got rotten teeth
2) Has bad vices : smoking, excessive drinking
3) High ego level
4) Receding hairline ( yes looks does matter, a wig is advisable on the first date. Maybe with subsequent dates, you can slowly reveal the truth. Cross your fingers that she would be able to accept the way you are. First impression do counts. Come on!)
5) Unsure what to look out for on the potential partner

I can't stand people who are unsure about their options on choosing partners.

If you like this particular fish with purple scales then stick with it. Don't go round and round hunting for the best and brightly coloured fish. There will always be better ones around but that doesn't mean you have to spend your whole life or making exceptional compromise to settle for one for the sake.

Good night, world.