Deep sorrows

J and myself went shopping last Saturday but unfortunately, the shops we went to didn't carry the international designed brands that he likes.Still, he bought a nice pair of shoes from Colorado and a jacket from Myers. And then, drove back to my place as I need to get change for a party that evening before sending him home. We kissed again and even though there wasn't any sighs of holding hands at the mall. I'm beginning to be in doubt of what I am to him actually. Friends don't kiss each other passionately and on the other hand, I don't expect he asked me to be his g.f at all.That is absolutely out of the question of course. Am I being "used" here or accomodating his or my emptiness without a partner? Right now, I wish to have the strength to get over him.I think this is the best choice rather than suffering from tremendous amount of heartbreakings later on.

I feel so weak and vulnerable when it comes to matters related to heart.
Got back from Church and I started to weep in my room.....

On the lighter note, it was a wild happening saturday night. Partied from fremantle to north bridge. Firstly, it was Anna's b'day at Benny's bar and drove back home and Shougi came over and pick me to Metro. It was a fantastic night with the uni students living at the hostel.Uhm, think i didn;t even pay a single cent for any drinks.Hmm...but it was good fun after all. Oh those, toesteppers--> hate them at the clubs.EEKS